You know that minute when someone shares something very personal with you? They tell you around a an overwhelming circumstance that they room facing and you’re not certain what to say or if you have to say anything in ~ all, therefore you try to just be a hear ear and also a shoulder come cry on. Yet at some point their side of the conversation comes to a close and it’s her turn.

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You shot to conveniently rehearse in your head what you will do it say, but nothing appears helpful. So you finally resolve come say what feels choose the many spiritual and helpful point you can come up with in the moment: “I’ll it is in praying for you.” that doesn’t it seems to be ~ quite good enough, yet it was every you can think of.

There are at least two factors why telling human being you’ll pray them isn’t as valuable as that sounds.

1. Since you won’t.

Maybe you important do have actually every intentionally of praying because that them that week, however let’s it is in honest. It’s just not going come happen. We all forget every the time. They know that you aren’t yes, really going come pray for them, and also you recognize it too. And also sometimes it isn’t also that we forget. Sometimes we actually have no intention of praying for them at all and we just tell civilization we’ll pray for them as sort of a Christianese variation of “Bless her heart”, or “I expect it functions out because that you”.

Whether it’s forgetfulness or just an attempt to conveniently end the conversation on one upbeat, a promise come pray is virtually always simply a lie.

2. Since it no encourage anyone.


When people are in difficult circumstances, among their biggest needs is encouragement.

By encouragement, i don’t mean that people need friend to solve their problems, tell lock what to do, or to tell them what they room doing wrong. What I mean is that regularly times all world really need is to be heard and to feeling strengthened to endure the day. But encouraging who is actually much harder than it sounds. Usually as soon as we shot to to speak something encouraging what comes the end is just a bunch of unhelpful Christian clichés.

“When God closes a door, He opens a window.” What does that even mean?

“Be a warrior, no a worrier.” literally the worst feasible thing you could tell who in a tough season.

“God has a purpose for your pain.” True, but totally not compassionate.

Most of us understand that these kinds of declaration do much more harm 보다 good, so us play the safe and also refrain from offering any type of encouragement in ~ all because we don’t desire it to come out prefer a robotic and also unsympathetic platitude. We’re not sure what come say, but we feel choose we should say something for this reason we finally just clear up for, “I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ll it is in praying for you.” but that isn’t encouraging either.

Instead, in reality pray for them.


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A promise come pray is never ever encouraging, yet actual prayer deserve to truly it is in life-giving. It’s amazing just how much it way to a human being when you prevent what you’re doing and also simply say, “Can I simply pray because that you ideal now?”

It’s even ok if friend don’t recognize what come pray.

In fact, sometimes it’s much better to no know. When our prayers sound too composed or rehearsed, lock can begin to feel a small like the prayer of the believe Man—a little heartless. Civilization don’t require an elegantly worded prayer, and also God doesn’t need it either. It regularly comes throughout far sincerer come pray a couple of simple heartfelt words than a bunch that lofty jargon.

I’ve precise prayed because that people prior to by simply saying, “God… help. Us don’t recognize what to perform here.” that amazing how much much more those couple of words have the right to do for someone’s heart than the most graceful of speeches you can muster in the moment.

Don’t let distance or communication medium prevent you either. You can pray for human being anywhere. Confront to challenge or over the phone room great, however even inputting out a prayer via text or email can encourage someone’s heart.

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So this is what i’m proposing. I think it would be great idea to add, “I’ll pray for you”, come the perform of cliché Christian adages the we stay away from. Instead, when someone opens up up and also shares a deep an individual need with you, stop right then and offer to pray because that them. Her prayer will certainly encourage their heart far more than any kind of exhortation ever before could.