I Think about This a Lot is a series specialized to personal memes: images, videos, and other random trivia we are doomed to play forever ~ above loop in our minds.

You are watching: I lost my hand i lost my bride

The an initial time ns watched Moonstruck, ns was 12 and thought it was boring and also unromantic plus, why go everyone keep yelling at each other? The 2nd time ns watched it, practically 15 years later, i was hypnotized and couldn’t obtain enough.

At the time, ns was life in brand-new Orleans and also had suddenly damaged up through my boyfriend and also moved out of the pink shotgun residence where we were living with my ideal friend. The relationship wasn’t bad, yet it wasn’t right, and also I was never going to become a human being who enjoyed hot weather and parades. I was homesick and also wanted come go earlier to new York.

As I got ready to leaving town, I continued to be in a friend’s family’s house. They had moved out, and also let me crash while they prepared to sell it. It was still half-furnished, but creaky and dark and breathtakingly spooky in ~ night. There was no internet, and to keep from getting too lonely or too scared, i watched DVDs native the library on mine laptop. The the library’s limited selection, Moonstruck was the only thing the made me feel right. Ns watched it almost daily because that months.

At the start of the movie, Loretta (played by a warm and funny Cher) gets engaged to a man named Johnny. She no love him, however she desires to obtain married and also he’s pretty enough. Johnny asks she to do him a favor: will certainly she call his estranged brother Ronnie and also invite him come the wedding?

Ronnie (a classically frenzied Nicolas Cage) says no, therefore she go to speak to the in human being at the bakery whereby he works. He reveals that he has a prosthetic hand, which the blames on his brothers — years ago, Johnny distracted him, Ronnie accidentally cut off his own hand in the bread slicer, and also his girlfriend left him due to the fact that of it. Ronnie shouts and rages and theatrically endangers to cleft his own throat.

When the is done yelling, Loretta invites herself up to his apartment over the bakery. She cooks him a steak, castle drink part whiskey, they sleep together, then they autumn rapidly in love, i m sorry they’ll invest the rest of the movie figuring out.

It’s ideal after the whiskey and before the sex that the really great stuff happens. Loretta tells Ronnie the he’s totally deluded for blaming his brother for his misfortunes. The truth of the matter, she says, is that he wanted to lose his hand in the slicer, and he wanted his girl friend to leave him. He had actually to cut off his very own hand to complimentary himself native the relationship, prefer a wolf chewing off its own foot come escape a trap.

Oh yeah? Ronnie fires back. Climate why is she — for this reason dazzling and bossy and also wise — marrying his helpless cornball the a brother? Ronnie obtained distracted approximately him and also he shed his hand. If she looks the not correct way, she can lose her whole head!

Loretta: ns looking whereby I have to, to come to be a bride.Ronnie, furious: A bride without a head!Loretta, likewise furious: A wolf without a foot!

They glare at every other, and then Ronnie knocks over the table between them, the whiskey glasses and also bottle go flying, and they kiss.

Whenever Moonstruck wasn’t playing on my screen, this exchange was play over and also over in mine head. Ns still obsessed through the campy exuberance that the imagery — Cher together a staggering, headless bride; Cage together a rangy, desperate wolf — and with the drama and silliness the their enthusiasm for every other. I’m captivated by this two personalities mercilessly calling out the rather self-deceptions, no as a gesture of anger or ok will, but something closer come a gift.

“I’m informing you her life,” Loretta stated to Ronnie, and in spite of myself, ns felt viewed too. Was ns an you are fool for continuing to be too long in a relationship I knew to be wrong? certain — ns was a bride there is no a head. Was i making a failure by leaving brand-new Orleans therefore abruptly, leaving my friends and also my an excellent job? Maybe! yet what else can I do? ns was a wolf without a foot.

Years have passed due to the fact that then, yet this step is permanently stuck in my head. I check out wolves and also brides everywhere. It’s end up being a compulsive, instinctual framework for expertise actions that seem self-sabotaging.

I check out a photograph of Britney Spears shaving she head, and also without even thinking around it i know: she’s a wolf without a foot. The Bachelor provides his last rose to who who’s plainly wrong because that him: he’s a bride there is no a head. Dave Chappelle leaving his show: a wolf without a foot. Chris Christie stand glumly behind Donald Trump at the podium: the world’s many obvious bride there is no a head.

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Not lengthy after ns left brand-new Orleans, the friend whose family’s residence I stayed in embroidered a wolf without a foot picture for me. Critical year, one more friend mailed me a wolf without a foot collage, and it sit in a structure on my workdesk now. It isn’t so bad, gift a wolf or a bride. And also if you’re lucky, eventually, someone will come along to tell you your life.


ns Think around This a Lot: as soon as Kimberly shaw Ripped Off her Wig ~ above Melrose Place
i Think around This One Moonstruck step a lot

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